Occasion HandbookFunerals 17 examples

Funeral Thank You Notes

What the family writes afterwards. There is no deadline, nobody is counting, and a printed card with one handwritten line is completely acceptable.

The short general note

This is the one most families send. Print it, sign each one by hand, done.

  1. 1 Thank you for your kindness and sympathy at a time when it was deeply appreciated. — The Whitfield family
    Tone FormalLength Short
  2. 2 Thank you for thinking of us, and for being there. It meant a great deal.
    Tone PlainLength Short
  3. 3 Thank you for your card. We have read every one of them, more than once.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  4. 4 The family of Raymond Doyle gratefully acknowledges your kind expression of sympathy.
    Tone FormalLength Short

For flowers or a donation

  1. 5 Thank you for the flowers. They were the first thing anyone saw coming into the house.
    Tone PlainLength Short
  2. 6 Thank you for your donation to the hospice. They looked after him well and it means a lot that you chose them.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  3. 7 Thank you for the beautiful arrangement, and for thinking of us.
    Tone PlainLength Short

For food, driving, and the practical things

These are the people who did the most and are thanked the least.

  1. 8 Thank you for the lasagne, and for leaving it on the step so we did not have to talk. That was exactly right.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  2. 9 Thank you for driving Mum every day that week. I do not think we could have done it without you.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  3. 10 Thank you for handling the phone calls. You took the worst job and never mentioned it.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  4. 11 Thank you for sitting with him so I could sleep.
    Tone WarmLength Very short

To close friends

  1. 12 You did not send a card, you just came. Thank you.
    Tone WarmLength Very short
  2. 13 Thank you for being there and for saying nothing. It was the right call.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  3. 14 Thank you for everything, and for still being here now that it has gone quiet.
    Tone WarmLength Short

To the funeral director, celebrant or clergy

  1. 15 Thank you for the care you took with my father’s service. It was exactly what he would have wanted.
    Tone FormalLength Short
  2. 16 Thank you for making a very hard day feel manageable.
    Tone PlainLength Very short
  3. 17 Thank you for getting his name right, and his life. It mattered more than you know.
    Tone WarmLength Short

Questions people actually ask

Who do you send funeral thank you notes to?

Anyone who sent flowers or a donation, anyone who helped in a practical way, the pallbearers, and whoever led the service. You do not need to write to everyone who attended.

How long after a funeral should thank you notes be sent?

There is no deadline. Two to three months is entirely normal, and later than that is still welcome.

Is it acceptable to send a printed acknowledgement?

Yes, and most funeral directors supply them. Adding one handwritten line and a signature is what makes it personal.