Occasion HandbookFunerals 13 examples

Sympathy Messages for the Loss of a Son

Write less than you think you should. Do not mention his age, the circumstances, or anything that could be read as a reason.

What to write

  1. 1 There are no words for this. I am so sorry.
    Tone PlainLength Very short
  2. 2 I am so sorry about Tom. I will say his name for as long as you want to hear it.
    Tone PlainLength Short
  3. 3 I am holding you both in my mind. I will not ask how you are — I will just keep turning up.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  4. 4 I love you and I am so sorry.
    Tone PlainLength Very short
  5. 5 I am so sorry. I will be here in a year, when it is quieter and worse.
    Tone WarmLength Short
  6. 6 No words, no advice. Just very sorry.
    Tone PlainLength Very short
  7. 7 He was a good man and I am glad I knew him.
    Tone WarmLength Very short

If he was a child

  1. 8 I am so sorry. There is nothing I can say that is equal to this.
    Tone PlainLength Short
  2. 9 I will remember her. I promise you that.
    Tone WarmLength Very short
  3. 10 Thinking of you both, every day.
    Tone PlainLength Very short

Months later

Bereaved parents describe the second year as harder than the first, because the cards stop.

  1. 11 It is a year today. I have not forgotten and I never will.
    Tone WarmLength Very short
  2. 12 Thinking of you this week. I know what week it is.
    Tone PlainLength Very short
  3. 13 Still saying his name here.
    Tone WarmLength Very short

Questions people actually ask

What do you say to parents who have lost a child?

Say you are sorry, use the child’s name, and promise nothing except that you will keep showing up. Do not look for a bright side; there is not one, and searching for it out loud is the injury people remember.