What to Wear to a Japanese Funeral
Japanese funeral dress is more precisely defined than most Western equivalents: plain black, matte, and minimal. Getting it roughly right is straightforward, and the details below are the ones people notice.
- Men
- Plain black suit, white shirt, plain black tie, black socks, plain black shoes. Not a business suit in charcoal — black.
- Women
- Plain black dress or suit with sleeves, knee length or longer, black stockings, plain black closed shoes, small black bag.
- The register
- Matte, not shiny. No patterns. Minimal jewellery — a plain pearl strand is the traditional exception.
- Condolence money
- Koden is usually given in a special black-and-silver envelope, and the amount and wrapping have conventions. Ask a Japanese friend or colleague rather than improvising.
Details that are actually noticed
- 1
Shiny fabric, patent shoes and large metal buckles all read as wrong.
- 2
Watches and jewellery are kept minimal; a plain single-strand pearl necklace is traditional for women.
- 3
Nail polish, strong perfume and bright make-up are avoided.
- 4
Take a small bag. Large or brightly coloured bags stand out.
If you are attending as a foreign guest
- 5
Nobody expects you to know the incense ritual. Watch the person in front and copy them.
- 6
The plainest black clothing you own is a perfectly acceptable substitute if you cannot buy formal mourning dress in time.
- 7
Ask a colleague about koden. The envelope, the amount and the way it is presented all have conventions and people are glad to explain.
Questions people actually ask
Can I wear a dark grey suit to a Japanese funeral?
It is better than not attending, but black is the expectation and the difference is noticed. If you have time, plain black is worth buying or borrowing.