Words of Encouragement for Your Son
Short, said once, and not in front of an audience. The message that gets kept is usually the one that names something specific he did and then stops.
Short, and easy to receive
- 1
Proud of you. That is the whole message.
- 2
Good luck today. Ring me after if you want.
- 3
You are doing fine. Better than fine.
- 4
Thinking of you. No reply needed.
Naming the specific thing
- 5
You stuck at that for two years when nobody would have blamed you for stopping.
- 6
You handled that badly at first and then you fixed it. The fixing is the impressive part.
- 7
You were kind to your sister this week when you did not have to be. I saw.
Before something hard
- 8
You are ready. Go on.
- 9
Nerves mean you care. They are not a warning.
- 10
Whatever the result, you are coming home to the same house.
When he has lost or failed
- 11
That is a rough one. You are allowed to be sick about it tonight.
- 12
You lost. You did not let anyone down. Those are different things and only one of them happened.
- 13
Tomorrow we will look at what to change. Tonight, nothing.
When he has gone quiet
- 14
Not asking. Just here.
- 15
You do not have to tell me. You do have to eat something.
- 16
Door open, phone on, no questions.
To an adult son
- 17
You are a better father than I was and I am glad of it, not sore about it.
- 18
You have built something. I know what that costs and I am proud of you.
- 19
You do not have to check in for my sake. I would just like it.
Questions people actually ask
What are good words of encouragement for a son?
Short, specific and delivered once. Name a particular thing he did and stop there — the pause afterwards does more than a second sentence would.
What do you say to a son after he loses?
Separate losing from letting people down, because he will have merged them. Leave the analysis until the following day.
How do you encourage a son who has gone quiet?
Reduce what is being asked of him. "Not asking, just here" removes the obligation to explain, which is usually the thing keeping him quiet.