Short, Funny Anniversary Wishes
The joke should be about survival, not about regret. "Still married" is funny; "how have you not killed each other" is a card they will show people for the wrong reason.
- The line
- Tease the marriage as an achievement. Do not tease it as a mistake.
- To a couple
- Both of them read it. Any joke at one of their expense should be one you would make to their face.
- The safety net
- One warm sentence after the joke and the card is complete.
Short enough for a card with no room
- 1
Congratulations on another year of not divorcing. Impressive.
- 2
Happy anniversary. Still the best double act going.
- 3
Ten years. Statistically remarkable. Well done.
- 4
Happy anniversary — from the people who were at the wedding and still have not recovered.
About endurance
- 5
Congratulations on twenty-five years of shared television preferences and one long ongoing argument about the thermostat.
- 6
Happy anniversary. You have now been married longer than most of the appliances have lasted.
- 7
Another year, another anniversary, another card you will both forget to buy each other. Well done.
To one half of a couple, from a friend
- 8
Happy anniversary. Congratulations to her, mainly.
- 9
Happy anniversary. You definitely married up and everybody knows it.
- 10
Congratulations on another year of her doing all of it while you take the credit.
From the person who introduced them
- 11
Happy anniversary. Still waiting on my commission.
- 12
Fifteen years. I have never been thanked properly and I intend to keep mentioning it.
The warm sentence to follow the joke
- 13
Jokes aside — the two of you are the best example of it any of us have. Happy anniversary.
- 14
Underneath all that: you are wonderful together and always have been.
- 15
And genuinely — happy anniversary. Here is to a great many more.
Questions people actually ask
What is a funny anniversary message?
Something that treats the marriage as an achievement — the endurance, the shared arguments, the appliances that did not last as long. Jokes that frame it as a mistake read badly, particularly from a guest.
What do you write on an anniversary card for a couple you both know?
Remember that both of them will read it. A joke at one of their expense should be one you would happily make to their faces, and it should be followed by one warm sentence.